I've thought about M a lot lately.  Fantasizing about running (literally) into him.  Or him seeing me zoom by, strong and determined.  Just wanting him to see me standing tall. 

Recalling all the little things that captured me in him is straight up torture.  I don't blame him.  Frankly, I cringe when anyone (but me) says nasty things about him.  Sometimes it comes at the right time and it's comical.  Other times, it just hurts.  They only know my joy and now my pain.  They don't know the in between.  They don't know about the little things.  So, when someone says something ugly, my brain recalls all the happy little things and once again, still, the memory of our love takes shots at my heart.