disrespect. i feel it far too often. the vanity that people have is so disgraceful and pitiful. i am not above this vanity. i feel it at times too, and i also feel the shame that should and does accompany it. i believe i'm worthy of respect in this work place, yet i do not get it. the balance of work is so far off. how frustrating.

i do have a consolation prize however... i'm out of here in 28 days. in 28 days i get to tell them, "peace out bitches." and, here's the vain and selfish part... pieces of me will get some morbid satisfaction knowing my office will fall to pieces as soon as i've left the threshold of the building for the last time. some pieces... mostly, however, i truly hope that someone with some very large feet can fill these shoes. i don't want it to fall apart. i don't want them to fail. i just want them to know that they'd taken me for granted. that's a silly desire... but it still exists.

and, on a completely different note... i'm in a terrible state of missing today. i can't get out of it. it's definitely got my cranky level up. the rain and my lack of desire to do any work is making the days drag. i want my love now. i do not wish to wait, but i know he's worth it. i feel like i'm just sitting around waiting for my new life to begin.