read me

I don't tend to hold eye contact long. I'm afraid for the world to see me. They would be able to see inside me, and they might take pieces away. I can't afford to lose any pieces. I need all I've got left after all I've given away, and what's been stolen. I'm hording the rest of me. It is polite to ask for a piece, but fantastically unfair to demand it. And, even more shameful to be angry at denial.

I know that I'm not easy to read. I'm not easy to read because I don't allow it. I don't want to allow it (see reasons in first paragraph). It would be tragic if no one ever knew who I was, though. I've been hiding me for so long, I'm not sure I'm able to read me. So, what if I shelter me for too long, and end up trapped inside? I guess, for now, it's something I'm willing to risk.

Don't ask me, "what do you want?" You and I both will be frustrated with the answer. The truth is, I've never known.