i'm beginning to understand me now. every realization can be credited to all the people in my life... those who have hurt me, those i've hurt, those who love me, and those i wish would. i'm done trying to be the perfect girlfriend. i'm done trying. i am who i am and i'm pretty sure i'm not liked by all. and, i'm ok with that. i don't want to be disliked, but i just can't up and change me to suit you. that's the reality. neither of us is wrong... but together, we aren't right. just reality. we teach our children to love themselves as they are and it usually refers to their appearance. well, i'm extending concept to personality. i like me. there are plenty of people who also like me. i'll be me while you be you. my growth will be self induced. and, in the spirit of self-reflection and commitment, i'll put some things on paper.

things i want to/am working on:
-stop censoring myself
-have less road rage.
-go back to school and stop making excuses why i can't
-write more
-pay more attention to Lucy
-connect with my family more
-write more
-write more

i could probably spend years making that list and rightfully so. i hope i never think i'm through growing personally. that would be arrogant. i want, however, to start really believing i can be happy just as i am. that someone will be happy with me, just as i am.

and still,
i'm a bucket of hope.
i'll let it splash and sprinkle
everyone.
i'll share it.
no one should be without it. Hope.