dear diary?

i guess it's not reasonable to expect the most from everyone in my life. i mean... i have a few really great friends. friends that would more than likely fly to the ends of the earth for me. they know who they are. in relationships the most difficult thing is doubt. i have no doubt in these people... let's be honest... these two people. i can count on them for anything. i've had friends come and go and i've learned things from all of them. i've learned that i can't expect everyone to live up to my high expectations. i just can't. i'll be constantly disappointed if i set my sights ever so high.

i am recently disappointed by such an occasion. i put my trust in another. i confided in them. i told them secrets. i gave them the privilege of my confidence, which is difficult to earn. it's damn near impossible to earn my respect. it's quite easy to lose it. a piece of cake, actually, for my trust to shatter. i am most disappointed in my willingness to do such a thing... i mean, it didn't really take all that much for me to give this person my hand in friendship. i felt close to her. she gave me her trust, easily... which, despite that she has betrayed mine, i will not disrespect. if she were to call and need something in dire situations... i'd be there without question. she can still call on me. but, that's just me. she'll never have my trust again, though. ever.

and such is life, and i move on. i move on, hopefully, with lessons learned and wounds healing. there is no doubt that as life goes, i wrap myself tighter in a cocoon of dismay and solitude. however, you know who you are if you have my heart in your hands. you know and i am forever grateful for your delicate guard of my love.