and another thing...

music is a very big outlet for me. good music does it's job: relate. i can relate to just about any song, but rarely a song comes along that does all but mention my name. below are lyrics (and a song that you should hear... yes you) that defined me. i do not know what defines me now. if anything... i'm unaware.

i do know... i don't want to fake it. i don't want to pretend to be cool and indifferent. if i act like i don't care... i want it to be because i don't fucking care. if i want to place my face gently in your shoulder with a heavy sigh... fucking a, that is what i want to do. i don't want to feel you pulling from me. if i do, tug of war will ensue. i will take that rope and go running for the hills with all my might and i'm a fast little bitch. ugh... i'll probably still lose. i don't want to care about losing! i want what i want and that's the fucking truth. i think i pull for that reason alone. if i feel it... i will do it. eh. stupid baseball movie. although, in baseball movies, i'm pretty sure they don't use the f-word as much.

anyway...

Brandon Rhyder- she couldn't lie anymore

all she left me was a letter
taped to the bathroom door
she said she couldn't face me
and she couldn't lie anymore

she couldn't lie beside me
for another night
or make believe that everything was gonna turn out alright
she said she did it for me and as cold and hard as the truth might be
she couldn't lie anymore

i guess it doesn't matter
if there's someone she left me for
either way my world is shattered
cause she couldn't lie anymore

she couldn't lie beside me
for another night
or make believe that everything was gonna turn out alright
she said she did it for me and as cold and hard as the truth might be
she couldn't lie anymore

i guess she did what she had to do
and I guess it's for the better
but I sure love being her fool
i would have let her lie forever

she couldn't lie beside me
for another night
or make believe that everything was gonna turn out alright
she said she did it for me and as cold and hard as the truth might be
she couldn't lie anymore

she said she did it for me and as cold and hard as the truth might be
she couldn't lie anymore
she couldn't lie here anymore
she couldn't lie anymore