texting and crushes

idk

i hate that 'idk'. i hate reading it. it's the worst shortened text ever. there are a ton of short cut text messages... for example:

txt: text

lol: lots of laughs or laugh out loud

n: in or and

u: you

r: are

def: definitely

ugh: used to show frustration

I leave the "g" of "ing" all the time.

but... 'idk': i don't know. i hate that one. maybe because i hate that answer because it's not really an answer. it's a deflection. it's avoidance.

on to other topics

i can have a crush on anyone. i have what i like to call "bite size" crushes on people all the time. men. women. no matter their gender. then, i have "fun size" crushes... those are more rare. "full size" almost never happen and can be trouble. then, the most dangerous, "king size" crushes. those get me in a lot of hardship. i'll attempt, below, to explain each type of crush.

"bite size"
these are the sort of crushes where you just want to pinch their cheeks a lot. you think about them when you see them... maybe for a minute or two after they are gone. but, that's it. there's no dreaming or imagination involved. no longing. no lingering looks. there really isn't much more to it than you find your self attracted to them when they are around. but, completely unaware of their existence when they are gone.

"fun size"
now... these are interesting. there is a little more thought involved in these. fun size... you want their number. you'd like to have the possibility of running into them outside of where you would normally see them. you see them down the hall, and you aren't embarrassed to go say 'hello'. you wonder what they look like naked. you may... or may not think of them at other times during the day. you are aware they exist and you think about them when they aren't around, but don't spend countless hours plotting your 'next move'. lingering looks are involved... but not tooooo lingering.

"full size"
these you have to be careful of because they can turn into "king size" before you know. i mean you won't even see it coming. these crushes can swamp you in ponderment of this other person. you lose your train of thought. you want to be in the room or place they are in at all times. you stare at them. you think about them naked, a lot. you wonder what their weight feels like on you. you wonder what they taste like and smell like. if you get the opportunity to get close enough, you remember their smell. lingering looks... oh yes. so lingering that people around you notice. everyone is aware of the attraction that exists between you... or that you have for them. you have their number. you text them all the time or you think about texting them all the time. you text them dirty things. you tell them things you wouldn't tell others. they might know your fantasies. they might know your desires. there are a million things to describe a "full size" crush. i you have one, you know it. i know it. you could fall for this person. as i warned before, it could turn into a "king size" crush at any moment and you won't know it until it happens.

"king size"
those get me in the heart. slow my pulse. these... you keep to yourself. no one knows because you avoid eye contact. avoid eye contact so that they don't notice the soft glimmer in your eyes when you look at them. you try not to linger in their presence. these are the sort you fall in love with... the kind that break your heart. you want to know about their lives. but you don't ask. you want to know about their future. but you keep your mouth shut. these drive a person crazy. these go on for months... years... decades. these are the sort you hope to have forever with one person. if you're lucky. most people aren't this lucky. to have a "king size" crush is be in love. so use caution. "king size" crushes will destroy you.

So... if that makes any sense... which, to me it does... then make sure to be on the lookout for someone who has a crush on you or the other way around.

i want them all on one person. i wish it worked that way. ugh. my "full size" crush could be trouble.