mystified

Q: Is it possible to change what defines us as individuals?

A: first of all... this is as broad and vague as a question can get. how can one answer this? first, you have to know what defines you. you have to know what will people think of when your name is mentioned. i know what i think of... but, it's similar to looking in the mirror and seeing a photo of yourself: they differ dramatically. i do not see in a picture what i see in the mirror. i like to say, "i'm uncomplicated." but have come to discover... i am as complex as i have ever been. i could not give you or anyone a list of things that are me. i think i am constantly changing. i am not who i was a year ago and will not be this woman (why did i want to write girl) in another years time. one of the few things i know about myself is... if someone doesn't like me, just as i am, they can fuck off. hate me. love me. i am me. i will not adjust myself to it anyone else's mold. i am not clay. i am solid steel. i am me. i am no one else but who i want. i can portray anyone i want but, i do not. i am only me.

So, the question still stands... can i change what defines me? yes. i want to be more kind to others... i start being more kind. i want to workout... i workout. i want to be more honest... i start telling the truth. you can be whomever you desire if, you are of strong and solid character. if you have no backbone or commitment then you are, and will always be, what others see. ask me something... i will tell you how i feel despite the fear of your reactions and the consequences i have faced and will face for being this person i am. so tell me... what defines me? if you can answer, then i am who i want to be.