guardian

sorrow grew
and i felt her coming.
a deep breathing in
grief,
a soft exhale
of recline...

then, she grasped my heart, quickly.

soft compassionate
rays
reflected in my eyes,
and glowed in the day.

as she held my hand, patiently.

they
shade the sun
a dim glimmer
and warmed
my skin
like evening light.

as she whispered, "easy."

calm air
drifted from her lips
like lazy clouds in a
blueless sky.
and i am filled,

and she let go my hand, gently.

she left as quiet
as day starts.
returns when only
needed.
but always
in an instant...

she rests behind my eyes, sweetly.

I have a way. I know people before they know me.  It's not hard, really, to remain mysterious. This was not always my way. I was open and caring and loving and giving. But, something has changed. Nurture has changed my nature.

The independence of being single is addictive. So, I keep myself hidden to stay this way. So, I want men who don't want me. So, I keep myself hidden this way.

The trick is--no one ever knows me.

I may have a lonely way.  But it has been my way for longer than I realize. Maybe 15 years. 

I just can't figure out what it is with you. Why did you call me? It would have been fine if you hadn't. It would have been better. I wish I knew how to speak the words to you: just leave me alone. I've said it to others with ease but not you. Why? So dumb. 

Why? Why did you call me? Sure it was my birthday but we hadn't spoken in months. I care for you and you treat me like a backseat second choice.

We both know you lied to me. 

Just leave me alone.