I'm like a cement wall made from individual bricks. When it was created, it was solid. It was strong. It didn't bend to harsh weather or continued climbing by children.

It's strong in one piece.

Slowly, time has eroded it. Slowly, pieces have been scrapped off, rain has deteriorated its slabs, and in the sun, it fades. Faster, this happens. As passing of the years quickens, the corruption of it's foundation speeds closer to total loss.

I'm like, half standing right now. I left an important piece of me at the base of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. I think I might return often to try repairing myself.

fuck your punctuation

"Maybe in 5 or 10, yours and mine will meet again; straighten this whole thing out... there's really no way to reach me; cause I'm already gone."

Thankful this day is closing. I have been sedated in self-pity for hours. I need a new day. I need a new sunrise; a new sunset... I need a change of scenery... it's coming, it's coming. Besides copious amounts of thinking, this day has been wasteful. Smile here, joke there, laugh now, cry later... I need a new day... I need a new fucking byline.

fata morgana

she appeared, with the first dawn’s glare
promising her creation
as attainable mystic-ness
where third realm light
becomes reality
with her wistful translucence
and serene, almost surreal, silhouette
she materialized with the carbon in the atmosphere
brilliant, she seemed
so immaculate and roseate
realizing my sacrificed dreamland
I reached for her cream colored shadowy hand
but she slipped through me
leaving her majestic essence
within my entity
all unsuspecting delusions
overwhelming sudden confusion
mastered my compassion
and like an intangible fabrication
at a fairy tale end
she was gone
like all other apparitions
breaking my confidence, all over again
as a mirage leaves nothing
and bequeaths only wanting
So, all I am is just waiting
anticipating my fantasy’s return

I sleep to finish... effortless.

In the Red of my obsession,
a blue sky swells over me
And shade, shrinks.

although love's exonerated,
In your blandishment,
Growth fetters,
callow and unambitious.

not for a lack of apathy,
But a need, a Desire.
Desire for liberation,
Dismissal of preconceived notions

Of my remaining lust
My enduring reverence
My exceeding infatuation,
A constancy of adoration
That IS no more.

Truth is,
I never hated you,
I still don't hate you,
But,
I don't love you.

I'll wait for the day I can tell you,
I do not need you.
I don't need you to know,
I am NOT counting my moments
desirous for our reunion.

In your recollection,
My name resounds
passion, longing
Devotion, sullen desperation...

Be enlightened:
once a flame glimmered
Hard in my affection,
And met its demise

On the tip of your tongue,
its silent ways,
and in the Black of my affliction.